They are often haughty and aloof. They have a serious aversion to bathing. They eat disgusting things. They prefer their females unshaven. They are certain of their superiority to the point of arrogance even though they are neutered. But unlike the French, these boys are sweet, lovable fur balls who do not care for Jerry Lewis movies. And they never, ever surrender.

Name: CFOMahm
Home: Metro Detroit, Michigan, United States
About Me: Italian/Polish (yes, that does make me both opinionated and dense, but there is definitely good eating at my house!). Fan of bad jokes, crossword puzzle addict, old enough to know better, but still young enough not to care. Known to the Gang of Three as "Mommy Cat - Almighty Keeper of the Can Opener and Mistress of the Front Door".
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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

How I'm Spending My Millions

So it's still abour 5 hours till we know the numbers for the Michigan Megamillions drawing. At my place of work, 12 of the 17 employees of the store went in on tickets. We figure after taxes we would each get a bit over $10 million. I am enjoying the fantasy while I can. The biggest fantasy is going in to work tomorrow morning in my jammies, bathrobe & slippers and waiting for the bosses in the office to come try to give me some shit about it. (Probably they would be more concerned about me showing up drunk, for if we hit, I guarantee I will be drinking champagne all night long.) I also enjoy the fantasy of 2/3 of the workforce just sayin' "Nah, don't want to be here." and walking out of the place. (We are physically attached to the headquarters and the folks in the office and warehouse would be up a creek scrambling to try and carry on operations they have no real knowledge of how to do.) But enough about that. Here is my list of things I'm using my $10 million dollars for-

  • Electrolyisis so I never have to shave my legs again.
  • A minivan with those remote control doors on both sides - and a remote starter too.
  • Liposuction on my fat ass - as many times as needed :-D
  • A 6 burner stove w/ a griddle in the middle and it has to go three ways - gas, wood & coal.
  • An Absopure water cooler.
  • Wine in bottles, not boxes. - Little bottles, not Carlo Rossi by the gallon.
  • Cowboy boots in every style and color I want.
  • New socks.
  • My nails done every 2 weeks instead of every three to four.
  • I'm gonna sign up for a bunch of legit music services and quit illegal downloading.
  • A new notebook computer and a new desktop so the family doesn't have to fight for time on the one anymore.
  • A new robe.
  • More flamingos for the yard. More gazing balls too.
  • More tuna for the cats - solid white, not just chunk light.
  • A place in Tennessee.
  • A car & driver on call 24/7. (OK, actually needed to work from 3pm to 3am)
  • New golf clubs and a whole bunch of golf balls. (No more pulling out a crappy ball when I'm on a water hole.)
  • A visit to my sister in California.
  • Some new lipstick & nailpolish.
  • I want to go see -
The Grand Canyon Mount Rushmore Mammoth Cave (again) Washington D.C. (again - especially the Smithsonian) How would you spend yours?


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