No Way To Spend A Day Off

Today was quite eventful - took all the cats to the vet. They give a discount if I bring them all at the same time. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it, but the thought of having to make seperate trips is not very appealing either. It's not quite as tortuous now that we only have 3 cats, but it is still a huge undertaking. Logistics are important. The first thing I do when having a cat roundup is get the carriers out a couple days ahead of time so the boys get used to their presence in the dining room and lose their fear of them. Then on the morning of the doctor visit I don my protective gear. Gloves are optional, but long pants & sleeves are a must. Next, I feed them all a favorite treat and while they are snarfing it up, the basement door and doors to all bedrooms are closed. An important part of the operation is to grab the feistiest one first, so that by the time they realize what's happening, the ringleader is under control. It works best if one person controls the cat and an assistant is in charge of holding the carrier still and closing the gate - trying not get any fingers pinched in the rush to slam the cell door shut before an escape attempt. Once all are safely in their carriers, I start dragging them out to the van while the neighbors stare and wonder just how many I have there and discuss how I am a "crazy cat lady". (There used to be five. The neighbors are not quite as appalled now.) Next the chorus sings screams loudly as I drive to the vet. At the office pet owners look at me like I'm nuts for even attempting such a Herculean task and wonder just how many times I am going to go back to the van to fetch a crate. The other patients either want to make friends or start a fight and my gang wants no part of it - they shrink to the back of their crates and once in the exam room are just as reluctant to come out of their cells as they were to go in. I end up having to "pour" cats out of crates. One by one, all are inspected and given their shots. The gang behaves quite well through this part - they are scared silly and seem to believe if they sit real still, no one can see them. Luckily they are much easier to put back in their crates - they are VERY anxious to get away from the doctor and return to the safety of their cells. Another rendition of the "Howleluiah Chorus" as I drive home. Lug them all back into the living room and open the gates - looks like the start of the Kentucky Derby as they make a mad dash to their favorite spots to lick themselves back into serenity. Then I find the Bactine, bandages & bourbon. Day off my ass. It's less stressful to go to work. Not to mention the $975.